Sometimes I wonder if people really know what is important. Of course not everyone places the same importance on the same things, but regardless of what you want in life, there are times when you have to take a step back and make sense of it all.
Sometimes it is other people give us perspective. I used to get really down about my injury, and then I would talk to my aunty who battles cancer everyday, and has done so for over 20 years, and my mind automatically finds some perspective on my own pain.
Other times new people show us a new perspective…On the weekend a friend told me I am very maternal, because I love to take care of people…I never thought of myself like that, so it took me a bit by surprise, and it was certainly a new perspective.
It can also help to have someone who asks you “Does that really matter?”.
Sometimes we get caught up in the bullshit of it all, or we focus too much on things that are not at all important, and forget the bigger picture…
I am learning to put things in perspective…I have a bad ride, and I feel like I am going no-where, and it’s all a waste of time. But it is one bad ride, and the road back to competition is not a straight line, not at all.
This week was the first big spin in over four months. I asked Valdeni what was going on, because it was really strange, and he told me that Batialo usually has a nap after breakfast, but I rode early, without said “very important” nap, and Batialo let me know that he was rather pissed off about it! I laughed because my horse is too smart, and also too spoilt!
It was at the start of the ride when he spun, and I took deep breathe, and kept going, and he ended up going really well. I used to freeze and then wait for the next spin to happen…
I have learnt to put things in perspective, and to move on from that moment or that thought.
I was told recently that people often get stuck on the one thought and then play it on repeat…I thought about it. It’s true. We often recycle a thought in our brain, and we lose sight of the fact that we can think the same thing 100 times, but that won’t change it!
Learning to tell yourself that yes that might happen, but why not wait until it does happen before you worry about it unneccessarily!
I have days where I still feel like it’s all a big waste of time. Then I remind myself that I have come this far, alone, and Valdeni says that my own ego was always my own worst enemy. He is right, and I hate to admit it.
I am someone who learnt very early to do everything by herself. When I would have trouble a false sense of pride would kick in and I would tell everyone it was fine and I could handle it. I still remember the day when I was hanging with my arms and legs wrapped up around Batialo’s neck, and the gardener walked past and asked if I was ok and should he go get someone, and I replied “no, it’s all good!”…
Ego and pride, are two very different things, but they can often get mixed up together. I am proud of how I rode this week because I rode through it, and I didn’t get upset about it.
I have always said that self-awareness is one of the greatest assets to any rider, and any person really. How much better are the conversations we have, where we know the person will actually hear us, without their ego rejecting our opinions, and with the self-awareness to at least acknowledge we might have a point?
People that can reflect on life without judgement, or criticism, knowing that there is no right or wrong answer, because everyone is different.
Portugal actually helped me find perspective, because I took a step out of everything, and into something entirely new. We live in a world where everyone is so concerned about what will happen next that they miss out on what is happening now.
Sometimes it helps to take a step back, and ask yourself, “Am I being realistic?” This week I thought about my back up plan and what I want out of life if my first plan doesn’t work out. The most important thing to remember is that we only have right now, and regardless of who you are, all that matters is that you are happy.
The second thing to ask is…”Is that really important?”
If it is not important, forget about it!!
If it is really important, “am I putting everything into it?”, and just in case my everything isn’t enough, to make sure that whatever happens, I am and will be happy…
Below my mare for sale…write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more info