Someone asked me why Batialo? What makes him so good? Well, It’s his attitude towards everything, he is just so happy…
This week has not been an easy one, but it has been amazing! Batialo decided that after three weeks it was time to test if I was in fact confident or just faking it, and he tried his best to check if I was paying attention at every killer piece of nothing that might jump out of nowhere.
It didn’t phase me at all, because my attitude has changed.
Do you ever have those days where you sit and listen to someone bitch and moan about nothing and everything, and have to hold yourself back from telling them that if they spent that time fixing the problem they are moaning about then they might not have a problem to moan about?
I often think about my aunty in these situations, when my mind has drifted off and I’m just nodding as they go on and on, about everything and nothing.
She has been battling cancer for over 20 years, and while she has every right to complain as much as she damn well likes she never does.
She found the sort of courage that no-one ever needs to find, and her attitude has always been to fight it, and enjoy life, as long as she can.
After I listened to this person winge for over an hour I said nothing. Huge restraint on my part because typically what I think comes out of my mouth before I have the chance to stop it…
Truth is, when I do shut up it’s usually for two reasons…either the truth is wasted on the person, or i’ll get the blame for being the bad guy.
I said before that self-awareness is the single biggest asset to a rider, but I’ve decided it’s the single biggest asset in life. If I told a self aware person that they were being pathetic they would accept it and try to change it. A self-aware person is also aware of what they can change, and even though it may be really difficult, they accept what they cannot. I’m still working on the last one.
I was once told I am too independent. I thought that was not a bad thing at the time, but I realised later that the person was right, I was too independent and that made me put too much pressure on myself.
It’s actually a trait of riders to be too independent…
I didn’t accept help when I needed it, and I forgot that balance in life means that you actually need to have people you rely on…
BUT, this does not mean that you use them to complain about your life. In fact it’s the opposite, and I realised this year that the good people to be around are the ones that make you forget what you had to complain about in the first place.
My mum (yep again) used to say that “If you are going to do something you might as well enjoy it”.
I hate people who passive aggressively go along with something and then try to ruin it for everyone else by popping in little comments like “well, if we had of blah blah blah..” Well we didn’t so get over it!
I see that in schools now they are teaching gratitude. I find this interesting. I always thought gratitude was something inherent in your character, and in your attitude towards your life.
I think gratitude comes from experience, and from dealing with things that come up.
My attitude has changed because I am now more grateful just to be riding. I am grateful for my friends that support me. I’m grateful for the readers that follow my blog and write to me, it honestly makes my day better.
But actually the biggest thing that changed is my attitude towards myself. I spent 20 years blaming myself for something that actually had nothing to do with me, and I just decided to let it go and be happy. Being happy with who you are allows you to except that as people come and go from your life, it typically has nothing to do with you, and it’s probably not your fault.
They say actually that that is the most difficult relationship you will ever have, the relationship with yourself, and they are right. I love who I am, and I honestly never thought I would say that and mean it.
Horses, know everything. Batialo knows that I’m different, he will still test me, but he knows. I also know him, and I know and have been told, that he would do anything for me. I have been in a test and totally mucked up the movement and my trainer said you could see him trying to guess what you wanted.
Sometimes, it’s not what you are doing that needs to change, or the people you are with, or the things you have to deal with, but your attitude towards it, your attitude towards those people, and most of all, your attitude towards yourself.