Sometimes, if you really want to fulfil a life’s dream, you have to risk that you might lose it, in order to have the chance that it might one day come true.
Often we hold onto something so tight through fear, that we never give ourselves the chance to feel what it would be like to let it go.
Imagine that we each carry with us a bag full of rubbish, and while some of it may be important rubbish, some of it really does nothing good for us at all, and if we can have the courage to set the bag down we may realise how much lighter we feel without it.
Recently I made a decision that was very difficult for me to make, as it risked three of the things that are most important to me; my two horses, and my dream.
For most people it wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but for me it was, when I decided to have both horses gelded.
I know there are risks involved, and I also know that unless I took that chance, I would never know.
As it was, I had to admit to myself, as a rider, that I no longer felt safe, and that I was not capable enough, if I wanted to compete internationally, of riding a stallion in that sort of environment.
For most people my horses are very quiet, they are excellent to handle, and while Batialo likes to spin, it always looked from the ground like I had control.
So what was I fussing about?
Often what we see from the ground, is not the feeling we get on top, and while a little bit of snorting was shown on the outside, a fireball of energy was what I was experiencing from on high.
It wasn’t only that though, because today, when I put my horse out in a paddock for the first time, I felt a sense of joy that I cannot explain.
The decision, as it turns out, was the best I could have made, my horses are themselves, but they now have the freedom and sensibility to be horses, to go out, to roll, to stand next to a mare and say, ‘ah yes you’re there’, instead of, ‘oh my god holy crap lets go!’
I’m sure there are those that will criticise me, and tell me I am afraid, but is it their safety and life that is at risk on my horses?
And if they saw the look of enjoyment on my horse’s face today, as he walked briskly around his open air space, they may not be so quick to question me, and if they still did, then I would question what they value.
Moral of the story is, not everything is easy, and letting go or making changes, is usually particularly difficult, for me anyway.
Sometimes however, you just have to try, or else, well, or else you will never know 🙂 .