I just finished a classics article recently on knowing your own limitations, knowing when to say “I need help!”.
This made me also think abut knowing your own faults, or weaknesses, or the things that you must recognise as being frustrating to other people.
Most of us can recognise that the we way we wish to act, or even the way we believe we acted, may not be the accurate truth, and sometimes, even on reflection, our minds cleverly distort the past to have us coming off as the hero.
Learning your own challenges, or the things that make you human, can be confronting, but once you do so you can better accept when people point them out to you.
However, this part is tricky, as often when people can point out a weakness in another person, it’s because they themselves have that same problem.
When people tell you “Just get over it” or “move on” do you get stuck on the page of frustration at them for telling you, or you do flick forward to the next one to see what happens when you accept their point of view?
Some things follow us forever, and even if we try to forget them, they will occasionally come up to remind us of what we lived, or how we behaved, or what we regret, or missed, or should have done.
The past however, is never the way we think it is, and over time our memories alter the details, the feelings, the reactions, until all that is left is a wound that is no longer a true representation on what went before.
If society could see past clothes, colour, gender, and everything that surrounds it, all that would be left is all that really matters…a voice.
We are all just a voice, some voices want to be heard, and some prefer to listen, some are creative and some mathematical, and while we can see the physical structure that carries the voice, we can never ever know what another voice is thinking, or how it works compared with our own.
Have you ever sat on a busy street and watched the people go by, and instead of noticing their shoes, or their hairstyle, just looked at them in wonder at what their voice might be saying?
My voice often becomes obsessed with things that I can never hope to control, while other voices seem to find calm amongst chaos, or do they?
Do we aspire to match the voices of others, before we take the time to nurture our own?
I wish I was more calm, or I wish I was more secure with myself, are useless games for your voice to play, and will only waste the time you have trying to achieve something for yourself.
As a teenager I suffered depression, and I struggled a lot, and punished myself, believing that I was causing it, that it was my fault.
I read study after study, and gradually I came to understand things differently.
A councillor once asked me what I think depression is and I said very simply that “my voice got sick”. Instead of my body getting a bruise, or my lungs getting an infection, the voice, the core, the essence, got infected, and the rest of me stopped being able to hear what my voice was saying, or how it wanted me to live.
Gradually, as my voice got better, I began to find new ways to keep my voice active, to train it to work with me, and teach it to see the good in everything.
If someone tells you they are bored, they haven’t taught their voice how to motivate itself.
If someone tells you they cannot find love, perhaps their voice is seeing too much of the physical world, and is not able to see the voice of another.
In life their will always be voices that collide, and voices that test you, but sometimes you find a voice that makes your voice grow, that makes your voice feel alive, that makes you feel like your voice is being seen for everything that it is, and everything that it will grow to be.